I have been thinking a lot about fear as an emotion and an expression of life. The image I get over and over in my mind is one of being stuck. Being stuck in your muscles and tissues, not daring to move, stretch or explore, protecting old injuries only to make them tighter. Being stuck in a current job, not being able to see an alternative because the alternative is unknown, too risky, too dangerous. Being stuck in an emotional state, a habit, a way of being, because change is scary and you want to protect yourself from the scary even if you know in your heart what you now do to yourself is way worse.

Being stuck has to do with filling up your life with things, people, habits, situations that don’t let you flow and then holding on to them because you are feeling constricted and limited inside. This is how fear presents itself. This is how it lives in our bodies and lives.

This feeling, this knowing is uncomfortable, so you ignore it. Big and small signals from your body, big and small warning notes from your emotions, from the universe, you ignore it all. That feeling of something needs to change. That feeling of being stuck even if you can’t exactly define why it would be so within your perfect world, your perfect job, your perfect family and perfectly planned vacations.

So you resist it, ignore it, tuck it in a safe place. It comes back louder. And your body turns the voice you ignored into a dis-ease you can no longer ignore. You then try to ease it by filling your life with things: clothes, activities, toys, entertainment, food, drugs, education, friends, more work, more busy-ness. Anything to distract you from feeling fully.

Life wants to flow. Sometimes to places you haven’t seen or sensed or guessed before. It is like climbing on the top of a big slide and not wanting to let go. You are missing all the fun. When you take a step and let go there is a new you.

To release your fears:

• Listen. Listen to the signals of your body very closely. Your body is your subconscious, speaking with symbols and riddles. It is always trying to tell you something. That indigestion, that bubbling anger you feel as tightness in your stomach, that back ache, they are all messengers. Can you tell what needs to change?
• Stretch your body. That is the first step in releasing fear. Embody the joy of a waking up baby. Stretch your muscles, stretch your connective tissue. No need to follow any routine or pose, just do what feels right. Start to break up the remnants of your fear hidden deep in your cells.
• Let go of something. Let go of those magazines you have been waiting to read. Let go of those clothes that are just hanging in your closet, you don’t need them, trust me. Let go of the friends who don’t call you back. Let go of your book club. Let go of the thoughts that make you feel constricted and small. Let go of the past. Let go of being right. Let go of your need to control everything. Let go of perfection. Let go of being a busy bee. Let go of anything that takes unnecessary space in your life, anything that stops the flow of life and the flow of your breath (Tweet that).
• Do something. Something, anything to inspire you to live fully. Take a yoga class, dance to your favorite music, write your dreams, take a course, tell your truth, scream your truth, give your life a chance to flow, give yourself a chance to flow with life.
• Create a mantra. Imagine how you will feel when you release your fears. Put it into words. Repeat your mantra every single day whenever you start to feel stuck. (Read my Make Your Own Mantra Cheat Sheet)
• Let go some more. When you find yourself holding on, filling up unnecessary inner and outer space, getting constricted inside, it is time to let go. Over and over again.

What you are is changing all the time. What you are is evolving. Life is evolving and changing all around you too. It is a beautiful dance. One you have chosen to experience at this time, in this body, in these conditions. It is time to turn up the volume, dance freely, and let life flow where it wants to flow.

With love and light,

Damla

It is important. To be with you first. To listen. To reflect. Sometimes to follow a whim without a plan, purpose, or goal. Sometimes to do what you didn’t expect. Sometimes to do just what you want and need to do. Letting life happen and being with it. Just being.

After my daughter joined us in this world, I realized how much of this I used to do. I would go into cafes, restaurants, movies, art exhibitions, museums by myself. Or I would walk. Or I would go explore pretty shiny things in stores. Or I would just sit on my couch, doing nothing. In that nothingness everything would be whole.

Then I realized that ‘not having time for me’ is an excuse. It is a comfortable one too. One that you would feel good thinking you are doing something great for others. Except when you take on more than you can chew and then go cuckoo, it serves no one.

This year is my shameless self-love, self-healing, self-listening year. Pretty much like every year from now on. So I now schedule these Me Day Holidays. Days, mornings, or afternoons where I don’t have anything to do, anyone to watch over, any plans, obligations, to-do’s. I am not allowed to touch the dishes on these days or to straighten the house. I am allowed to take loooong showers, create and dance to my own playlists (like this one), walk and window-shop, or simply sit in a cafe browsing, writing, sipping tea, watching life and the beauty of it unfold.

I do these every 2-3 weeks or when I hear the warning bells in my body. Tension is my messenger. Time to go solo Damla, take that self-bliss-love-date now. On the days that I may not be able to get out of the house, I take 20 minutes and meditate with my crystals in my yoga room. Or do a self-manicure. Or sit with my mala beads after my daughter sleeps. Alone with my dreams and thoughts. I need that.

When was the last time you went on a date by yourself? Taking delight in simply being you, letting your responsibilities rest while you open up new spaces for light to pour in. Let’s pencil one in, shall we?

With love and light,

Damla

The last few days of the year is a beautiful time to evaluate where you have been and check in with your internal compass to see where you want to go. I want to remind you of a few soul gifts from 2014, gifts that you already have as you step into another fabulous year.

You are stronger, more resilient, more capable, and more beautiful than you realize. I bet you have been tested this year. I bet you thought at times that you won’t make it. Well, you made it! It is time to recognize the beauty, resilience, and the light in that, and bow to the strength in you that you didn’t know you had.

You are your own shaman, your own healer. It is time to take your health and well-being into your own hands. Time to lean into your intuition and take action. Read, investigate, reach out, take time, and do whatever you need to do to become whole. You know you have the gift and the magic to heal yourself.

You are your own lover, guide, and teacher.  Everyday, you can choose kindness and love towards yourself and your wounds. Everyday there is at least one thing you can do for yourself. Everyday, you can learn and grow listening to your inner guidance.

Your connections matter. Looking people in the eye matters, taking time off your phone and laptop to be with your cat, dog, lover, kid, neighbor matters. To hear someone else’s laughter and to listen to their crying with your utmost attention is the best gift you can give.

You create light. Everyday, in everything you do, you have the option to create light. You have the choice to stay in the positive, loving, gentle, kind side of things. You have the option to make your world a beautiful place and to share your light with others.

You are loved. Beyond measure.

You matter. Period. End of story.

Have a dream-filled 2015 with over-flowing blessings, health, abundance, joy, laughter, love, and light.

With love and light,

Damla