I am waking up with anger in my belly. It is familiar. I am painfully aware of all that is going on in the US and in the world. I am Turkish with olive skin and brown eyes. When it comes to being labeled as the ‘other’ because of things I can’t change about myself (and don’t want to change), I have experienced my share:

• During my graduate studies, I was yelled at on a bus in Germany by an older gentleman. When he heard that I was Turkish he said on the top of his lungs ‘You’ll go to hell!’. He continued to yell and yell while I responded calmly. No one said or did anything even though it was clear as day that he had no right to yell at me.
• When I first moved to the north of Boston in the US, during a professional dinner for my husband’s work, a woman asked me if I got tan on a recent vacation in the middle of the winter in New England (the answer was no, I hadn’t gone to vacation at all)
• My cousins often teased me growing up saying ‘They got you from the gypsies!’, which hurt deeply because for the longest time I thought I that was adopted as a child because my mom has fair skin and green eyes, and I look nothing like her. In Turkey, fair skin and blue/green eyes are considered beautiful, special, desirable, promotable as well as proofs of European or Balkan ancestry. You are destined to be made to feel less than if you are someone who doesn’t look like that. Fair skin and blue eyes are always mentioned as amazing, admirable, beautiful qualities in conversations. People with fair skin and blue eyes often brag about these qualities and the ancestry these qualities imply.
• I often feel people looking at me strangely when I take my fair-skinned green-eyed child into public or in stores. This happens in the US where we live and in Turkey. Some even comment ‘That explains the blue eyes!’ when my fair-skinned, green-eyed husband walks in.

In all of these instances and interactions, people have ignorance, energetic wounds, want to make themselves feel better by labeling the other something less than, or they simply don’t think of what their words and actions imply. This said, I also haven’t experienced the degree of otherness that people in more marginalized groups live through every day. I haven’t been denied education or opportunities. I haven’t felt like I am in danger every time I step outside because of the color of my skin, the way I look, my sexuality, or religion (well, I mostly feel I am in danger when I step out because I am a woman).

But that is not all, I do this all the time too. I have made people into ‘others’ in my life by:

• participating in racial jokes
• categorizing and stereotyping groups of people
• not reaching out to know, hear, and understand more
• changing the sidewalk or moving my gaze down because I see a homeless person, a person of color, a person of another economic status, or someone showing any other suspicious behavior because I am terrified and unsure of my safety.
• glorifying a certain style, look, clothing, make-up, etc. over another
• judging myself and others
• not initiating conversations or kindness when I could
• not learning, questioning, reading, or supporting enough

I need to do better, we all need to do much much better. Today I am listening to my anger. Clearly, she is not done talking. Within my anger, there is much sadness and fear mixed in. Within my anger, there are so many different layers. Today we will have some tea together, engage in a conversation. I will begin to forgive the parts of me that push out other parts. I will embrace our broken heritage, our togetherness on this strange planet, in this strange time, with all our individual and collective wounds coming up to the surface one by one.

Here’s what I know: unless we tend to our needs and heal our individual energetic wounds, we will always have a tendency to make someone else into an ‘other’. What action will you take today to show responsibility for your own wounding? I am here if you’d like some support to dive into the energetic wound jungle that is you and begin to love all of it. 

With love,

Damla

P. S. If you’d like to get started healing your energetic wounds by yourself, check out my online healing sessions and online courses.

When life asks you to run a marathon, you breathe and you preserve your energy.

You pay attention to what’s good for you and what’s not so good. You decide to keep, enhance, build on the good and leave, release, and forgive the not-so-good. You decide what is true and needed for you, what makes the most sense.

You believe in your ability to run the course. You become your own cheerleader. And you ask others to support and cheer you.

You take the time to slow your pace when you run out of breath. You remember that breaks are as precious and needed as sprints.

You become what the road, the time, the run asks you to become. You leave your pride and ego out the door and do your best. You dig deep to find the medicine in you and the gifts of your ancestors.

You celebrate every little victory, every little step, every little sweat. You add humor, lightness, laughter to the mix.

You stay gentle and kind to others and to yourself. You take it one step, one breath, one road post at a time. And you keep breathing, practicing, forgiving, starting over, and putting one foot in front of the other.

With love, light, and gratitude,

Damla

P. S. If you feel like you need some gentle energetic support, check out my recorded and live online healing sessions. They are super affordable and wonderful excuses to catch your breath during this global marathon.

When I was a little girl, my grandmother used to tell me and my cousins’ stories about a gypsy wanderer named Tarankuku. Tarankuku very conveniently used my grandma’s pantry as a passageway and occasionally came by to steal and eat children. The pantry was a dark and mysterious place for us children, full of weird, smelly items and forgotten kitchen gadgets, and whenever there was a sound in the house (or whenever my grandmother wanted us to calm down), she would tell us that Tarankuku was about to come by to steal us and we should better behave! And it worked. Of course, there was an age limit of maybe 7-8 years old and by then we all knew the trick and even started using it on our younger cousins.

As we are embarking on yet another week of the quarantine life, I am discovering the Tarankukus in my mind’s pantry, the dusty kitchen gadgets, forgotten jams, and a ton of other interesting stuff. I am realizing that each day is another choice. I can believe that what is in and around me is only darkness and I can stay scared. Or I have the choice to know that there are good things in and all around us and that I can at any moment reach for the spices, tasty pickles, and the home-made aromatic jams to enjoy, savor and make more beautiful things (and so can you).

I believed in Tarankuku for a long time (longer than I’d like to admit), even now I find it hard to sleep with my closet doors open. The last time I was in my grandmother’s house, I went into that pantry. It has been a while since she is gone but it still smells like her, a scent I can’t describe but I know it’s of her. It makes me cry every time I think of it since I’m reminded of how much I miss her. I’d like to think that she is watching me, and being proud of the work I do and maybe occasionally having a chat with Tarankuku over tea in her pantry.

With love, light, and gratitude,

Damla

This is a great time to declare unconditional love for yourself. I invite you to pick up a pen and paper or simply open up your phone’s note app, and begin writing a love letter to yourself and connecting with the life that is here in you and for you.

Here’s my love letter to myself, feel free to read it and breathe it in as if it is from you to you. 

My dear self,

I am so in love with you. I love all the times you have picked yourself up despite all that you have been going through and all that life throws at you.

I love your determination, the way you work to live your dreams and your courage to come back to being open and vulnerable again and again.

I love all your wounds. I love looking at you and seeing the lines on your face, seeing your beauty shine through. You are an unassuming masterpiece.

I love your silence. I know how hard it is to put life into words sometimes. But even if you don’t speak, I hear you.

I love your missteps. When you apologize or accept that you have made a mistake, I am in awe of you.

I love your spiraling thoughts. You are a beautiful mixture of energies and dynamics that dance and shine.

I love how you laugh. I love seeing you embody your joy, your pleasure, your humanness.

I love watching you heal yourself. You have come so far. You have done so much and continue to do so. I am so proud of you.

I love how you make an effort to listen and be there for others. Sometimes you are there for them by doing. Sometimes you simply allow them to be by being and listening. You let them shine. What you don’t realize is that you shine as you do so.

I love all the goodness that flows through you and in you. You are like a beaming light that reaches far and invites others to shine brighter than they thought possible.

I love your shortcomings, all the places in you that feel like they don’t measure up. All of what makes you, you, I love all of it.

I love your spirit, your dreams, your never-ending quest to find inspiration, love, joy, and light in everything you look at. I know how deeply the state of this world touches your heart and how much you want to heal everyone and everything. I know you grieve what you can’t do and the people you can’t begin to reach.

I love how when you fall asleep, you whisper to yourself ‘I am infinitely grateful’ over and over again.

I love seeing you ride the waves of life, and grow stronger, wiser, and more light-filled with each and every wave.

I love you as you are, as you have been and as you will be.

I deeply and completely see, accept, love, and honor all that you are.

With love,

Your biggest fan,

Damla

P. S. Here is an online healing that you can experience within the sanctuary of your home. Invest in your energetic well-being here.

I want you to know that…

You get triggered by life, people, situations, circumstances, relationships, or events because you haven’t tended to the needs of your inner child that gets threatened by that situation, conversation, thought, action or vibration. 

You haven’t taken the responsibility to notice, name, voice, take action on, and ask for support and assistance for your needs.

You haven’t realized that you are living in the vibrational soup that you are co-creating with others. 

And you haven’t understood that the only variable you can do anything about in the soup is you.

The only thing you can do to heal from getting triggered is to tend to the needs of the parts of you that get triggered.

Rather than complaining, shaming, blaming, pointing fingers (in other words, giving your power away), or avoiding, numbing, ignoring, or not listening, take responsibility for your reaction. Own the responsibility to take care of your needs and the needs of your inner children and your ancestors that continue to live in and through you.

I want you to breathe with this: as long as you breathe, you can change your vibrational reality by tending to your needs, taking care of your nervous system and asking for support when you need to. 

I see you, I know you, I love and accept all of you no matter where you are on your healing journey.

I invite you to arrange a 15-minute complimentary call with me to chat about how you can deepen your energetic well-being and healing through working together.

Sending you virtual hugs,

With love, light, and gratitude,

Damla

P. S. My two online courses are open for enrollment until April 18, 2020.

Tending To Your Needs teaches you how to tend to the vibrational needs of your inner children and your ancestors, and how to work with the resistance to tend to your needs.

($400+ value, over 3.5 hours of video lessons, 4 hours of guided meditations, and home-play worksheets)

Introduction to EFT Tapping empowers you with a quick, effective and powerful nervous system regulation and vibrational repatterning tool that you can use for yourself and your family, and have with you for your lifetime as an invaluable support. 

($400+ value, 3 hours of video lessons, 4 hours ​of guided meditations, includes a special bonus lesson on Tapping With Your Kids)

No matter what I offer you as a Healer, ultimately healing has to be an inside job for you. As much as I’d love to be there for you every time you need healing, it isn’t possible or realistic. This is why the majority of my work is geared towards empowering you with self-healing tools and practices that you can access any time and anywhere. Here’s what I want you to remember about your healing process.

You need to become an expert on how stress shows up for you. Stress is sneaky. Some days it’ll show up as irritation or annoyance, other days it’ll make you stay under the covers. Be mindful of how it plays out for you and use your tools every chance you get.

Stress isn’t the problem. Your ability to be resilient or not is. You can learn tools that can help you be more resilient and choose to not stay in a heightened nervous system response all the time.

You are not broken. You just need to keep remembering that you are not the noise, the trauma, the emotions, the bodily discomfort or the stress, you are the harmony, the beautiful music underneath all of that.

You have to keep reaching for what will soothe you and enhance your harmony. Sometimes it can be a session with me. Sometimes it’ll be doing something you love like making art or talking to a friend. Sometimes it’ll be stepping out or pausing for ten minutes or using a tool like EFT Tapping or meditation to bring yourself back into being tuned.

I am here for you if you need support in getting in touch with your inner self healer and becoming the music you are meant to be.

With love, light, and gratitude,
Damla

P.S. I am working on a new online course that will be available for you soon. 

Introduction To EFT Tapping will teach you a powerful, elegant, and effective tool to help you release your on-going stress as well as begin to shift any energetic patterns that no longer serve you. This course will allow you to safely take care of your body and calmly handle whatever life throws at you.​

LEARN MORE

P.S. too I contributed to this article which features some wonderful self-care tips during social distancing. Read it here.

Here’s what I am doing to stay sane, loving and graceful during my quarantine time. Please share in the comments your unique and most life-affirming ways to stay grounded at this time.

• I exercise, stretch and get outside. I am doing a 30-minute barre/pilates workout in the morning and a 30-40 minute yoga in the evening (with my openfit.com subscription). I am also allowing myself to skip a workout when I don’t feel like it or if I am moving through my moon cycle when my energy is usually low. We are so lucky to live in an area with lots of trees and beautiful roads to walk in. We take advantage of it daily to soak up the sun. Some days, when the temperature feels comfy, I meditate or read sitting outside which is so delicious.
• I am closely monitoring my own nervous system. I am taking breaks, practicing EFT and meditation, making time for naps and doing salt baths whenever I can. I am truly taking it one day and one breath at a time, treating this time as a tremendous opportunity for soul growth.
• I am also monitoring my family’s nervous system and supporting them with all my Healer tools. Last week my daughter started to cry just as she was about to go to sleep saying ‘Mom, what if I get sick and accidentally make you sick and then you and dad die?’ She is only 7 years old and although we are really careful not to repeat or watch the news around her, she knows exactly what’s happening and has every right to feel the way she feels. We tapped together until her tears dried and the intensity of her anxiety and stress fell from 10 to 0. This is also proving to be a time where I get to enjoy her company immensely and guide her through her emotional landscape which I am truly grateful for.
• We alternate our work and keep revisiting our boundaries. My husband has the mornings to do his work while I watch my daughter and guide her schoolwork. I have the evenings to do my work, although I can fit in small things here and there while my daughter does her schoolwork. We alternate making breakfast, I make lunch and he makes dinner. Some days if he is busier, I pick up the afternoon shift too. On other days he gives me a break. We also constantly communicate about our expectations, boundaries and false stories in our relationship and clear the air.
• I rely on my intuition every single day. This time is another reminder that consulting my intuition, connecting with my soul and the soul of life all around me is not optional, it is an absolute necessity.
• I pay attention to my dreams. Last night in my dream I suddenly find myself in a Plácido Domingo concert. I woke up repeating his name and the guidance was ‘look up the meaning’. Plácido means calm and peaceful. Domingo means lord or master of something. The very clear message was that we are all called to be masters of calm and peace during this time of our lives.
• I ask for clear guidance before I get up from my bed. Within the quiet connection to my soul in the space between dreaming and being awake, I ask my soul and soul helpers, what I need to prioritize that particular day and what I need to be aware of. Some days it is about me drinking more water, some days it is taking the time to be with my daughter, some days it is about a particular thing I am working on with regards to my online business. Some days it sharing something important with my community. And some days it is a combination of a little bit of everything.
• I limit my exposure to the news. I check the news once in the morning and once before bedtime. My husband and I keep each other informed of what we see, sometimes we catch different news than each other and let each other know.
• I share what I feel is useful, uplifting, and necessary. I have shared two free meditations with my community, which I feel would be powerful for anyone who adds them to their life. I share any local resources or information that I feel is relevant in my social media, and most days I just want to share what I’ve always shared with you: things, thoughts, words, resources that can help you on your healing journey and may take you one step further.
• We call, text, and connect with our family and friends every single day. Now more than ever. A single SMS with a funny picture is enough to uplift a day. I am also truly grateful for our connection through social media and to be able to share our resources as well as our experiences.
• I am truly grateful. I feel so incredibly lucky for all that we have in our lives. Every single night I fall asleep with a single mantra ‘I am infinitely grateful’ and I let the words sink deep into my bones, pores and energy field.
• I continue to work on what matters to me. I am continuing to improve my website, message, offerings, and my communication with you. I have quite a few exciting things lined up that I am so excited to share with you soon. This is what brings life to my veins, sharing what I know as a Healer and making the tools, practices, experiences that I know are healing and life-changing with more people and in deeper ways. Please stay tuned, and if you haven’t already, sign up to my email list here.

When the coronavirus news started to air, some of us began to feel the energetic effects of it stronger than others. I have written about the case of the fried toaster before. Those of us with energetic wounds had our wires fried earlier than others resulting in exposed wires and an easily overloaded energetic system. You can find out about what your energetic wounds are by downloading a list of questions here.

Your untended to energetic wounds continue to live in your system as a vulnerability. Every time something big and stressful hits you, like the coronavirus news, or a big change or shift in your life or a significant life event, your already leaking electrical system will have a hard time processing things which will result in body discomfort and emotions going haywire.

Think of another possibility: what if life hits you but you are able to create a safe space within your body and you are able to handle whatever life throws at you including an excess load of electricity. This is what self-healing and healing are all about. You take the responsibility to take care of your needs and re-mother and re-father yourself. You learn and have access to practices, tools, and methods that will help you handle what is here. You become a self-sustaining, regenerating, extraordinarily beautiful electrical energetic flowing system.

Here’s how you can begin to tend to your electrical and energetic system in times of increased stress:

• Take what is not essential off your plate. You don’t need to do it all while your system is already overworking.
• Create a practice of coating your exposed electrical wires aka taking care of your nervous system. All those years of carrying wounds have overloaded your nervous system and created erosions and exposed wires. Practicing EFT Tapping can begin to re-coat your wiring with a soothing layer through your loving gaze and awareness. If you are living with energetic wounds or in other words if you are a trauma survivor, I strongly suggest that you learn EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). You can download a free EFT Tapping Meditation here that will teach you the basics and you can use it every single day to strengthen your wiring.
• Trust that all of this is happening not to you but for you. Every time our energetic and electrical systems get overloaded it is an opportunity to upgrade your hardware and software with new practices and an updated outlook on life. Think of this time as a welcome learning challenge. Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
• Pay attention to your dreams. In times of potent growth, you need to pay attention to what your inner guidance is trying to communicate with you. I have been having the same themed dream since the coronavirus news started which is telling me that there is something here for me to learn and grow into. Pay attention to the repeated symbols in your dreams knowing that everything you see and what they mean will be unique to you. Just ask your intuition right after you wake up to know without a doubt what the symbolism means for you. You can also ask to dream about a question or a solution that you need right before going to bed. I am talking about how to receive dream guidance here.
• Clear your electrical and energetic pathways. Take your energetic and electrical health seriously. All of my private sessions work on exactly this: clearing your energetic pathways and strengthening your electrical signal. I especially recommend that you consider booking a Sonic Meridian Flush which is designed to open up your meridians and boost your electrical signal. All my private sessions can be booked as an online video chat. This is a wonderful time to invest in your energetic and electrical health. Learn more about my private healing sessions here. Right now I am running a promotion and you can book all my sessions with my 2019 pricing until the end of May 2020.
• Boost the amount of electricity you are carrying. Medical Medium Anthony William has a beautiful resource on choosing electrically nourishing foods and letting go of what rubs you of precious life energy. In short, this means choosing foods that are rich in electrons such as fresh and raw fruits and vegetables and letting go of foods that overload your system and rub you of electricity such as processed foods and foods high in fat.
• Get out and get some sun. Sun is beaming down electrons and electricity on us every single day. Take advantage of it and fill your system with the healing rays of the sun.
• Get grounded. Take your shoes off or invest in electrically grounding shoes or sandals that are made up of conductive materials, that will allow you to really ground and receive free electrons from the Earth. Underneath your feet and in your palms, you have special electron receiving capability. If you have rubber-soled shoes, just press your palms on Earth whenever you can however long you can. I am talking more about earthing here.
• Become an expert in self-healing. This is your body. This is your life. You have to learn how to re-mother and re-father yourself. You have to learn how to tend to your needs with or without help. You have to realize that all of this is a practice and a process. You may feel horrible one day and uplifted on another. You’ll need quiet contemplation and the right tools to know what you need when. Quiet contemplation may look like a few rounds of EFT, time spent outside or sitting on your couch with a warm tea, or it could be taking 10 minutes to sit and simply breathe. In that contemplation, you’ll get to see what is rising up to the surface, what needs a loving gaze, what you can let go and in what areas you could use some help. Here’s a free meditation to help you connect with your inner child and figure out what she/he needs most today.

If you need help navigating this time, feeling grounded, and tending to your energetic and electrical health, contact me.

With love, light, and gratitude,

Damla

I have a deeply personal thing to share with you. Are you ready? Here it goes: my English is not perfect. I grew up in Turkey and Turkish is my mother tongue. In case you have been wondering what it is you hear differently when I speak, I have a Turkish accent. I started to learn English in 6th grade or middle school in Turkey when I was 12 years old. I moved to the US for my MBA in 2002 and have been living here ever since.

Here’s what you need to understand about someone who speaks English or any other language as their second language and especially if they learned it later in life: my English goes out the door when I am tired, when it is the evening, when I get stressed, when I am overwhelmed, when I am sad, etc. Having grown up in Turkey and studied there until the end of college, I count in my mind in Turkish, I mostly dream in Turkish, I curse in Turkish, I measure things metrically in my mind and Turkish is my default language. That said, I also have successfully navigated grad school, working in the corporate world, changing careers and building my own business from scratch through my seemingly imperfect English.

Here’s what I know: I know that some of you listen to me and cringe. You talk to me and you want to immediately put words into my mouth and correct me, or you find yourself editing my words as you read them. I know that this is also how you treat yourself. Nothing is ever good enough. So my heart goes out to you.

I also want you to know that I have some of that self-doubt virus that you have, in me. I find myself reading, re-reading and editing every piece of Facebook post, blog post, email or written material that I write a gazillion times. I had to stop myself from re-recording a 45-minute beautifully recorded meditation because I stumbled on a single word. So I am right there with you judging and criticizing myself.

I once had to leave a creative writing group because they thought my writing was something I should be embarrassed about submitting to the group to be read. What they didn’t know and understand was I had read, re-read and rewritten that piece to the best of my ability a thousand times. My husband once said to me when a corporate employer complained about my accent ‘They should be grateful that they get you in the way that you are with all your gifts.’

Our household is bilingual that means that every single day my brain is firing a whole lot more than a single language speaker. I am deeply creative not only because it is my passion but also because I can think and dream in a completely different language than almost everyone around me and I can bring the gifts of those dreams into my life and work. In addition to English, I also speak a decent amount of German and have even written a graduate thesis in German. I am currently learning Spanish for the pure joy of getting to understand a whole new worldview.

Here’s what I also know: while I work through my mind viruses of ‘I am not good enough’, ‘this is garbage’, ‘who am I to give any advice or write this’, they are not going to stop me from putting what comes through me out there for you. I will keep recording videos, courses, I will keep offering workshops, I will keep working on inspiring you for self-healing and healing with every tool that I have (including my English skills) and at every chance that I get.

The energy and vibration speak louder than words. When I look back at all that I have created and will create I know that what matters most is my willingness to be vulnerable, having a pure intention of healing others and letting those energies speak in the tone of my voice and writing, rather than with the perfection of my punctuation or the accurateness of my grammar.

I want you to sit with this and ask yourself. When do you judge others without knowing who they are and their full story? When do you judge yourself? And if you wish to experience how it feels to be a fish in a sea you weren’t born into, I invite you to try learning a new language to enhance your brain activity and get humbled.

With love and lots of gratitude for you for continuing to listen, watch, read and follow and absorb the energetic contents of my work and for making healing your energetic wounds a priority. 

Damla

In this video I am sharing my own story of coming face to face with all my unmet needs and my discoveries about what needs are, what their layers are and how meeting your needs can contribute to healing your energetic wounds. I also talk about:

– What is the first step in beginning to heal your energetic wounds?
– Why do your needs matter?
– What can you do if you don’t have the time, resources or the energy to tend to your needs?